Post Holiday Blues

Boo bleedin' hoo! Back to the soul sucking, life eating, creativity inhibiting, individuality limiting, hell hole that is my place of work. When I tell people what I do for a living it ilicits one of two reactions:
Scenario 1 "So, what do you do for a living?" (Mr *MCT)
"I'm a Midwife!" (me)
".................." followed by a polite smile.
Scenario 2. "So, what do you do for a living?" (Mrs MCT)
"I'm a Midwife!" (me)
"Aw, what a lovely job! I always wanted to be a Midwife. Especially after the birth of my first son Hugo, he was born by ventouse after a forty hour labour, isn't that right darling? and blah blah blah, I said just give me the f*****g epidural,blah blah, tore from here to here, blah blah,cracked nipples blah blah midwife couldn't help me breastfeed blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah".

Let me tell you straight ladies that being a midwife is NOT a lovely job. Apart from the obvious downside of having to discuss everyone else's birth experience within the context of a social gathering, it is a physically, emotionally and mentally draining job. When I became a midwife I was so impassioned. I was going to change the world! Four years on and the passion has dwindled somewhat.

The reality is quite different from the ideal. My idea of being a midwife is supporting women through this, the most natural of processes. Encouraging them to make informed decisions, helping them to understand the consequences of their decisions and having faith in their body's ability to give birth and cope with the pain associated with labour. I am an advocate for home births, water births, anything that avoids interventions. Sound easy? Yeh right!

The problems one is faced with are numerous. Firstly, your colleagues: Not all midwives are singing from the same hymn sheet. Many are content to give every woman they care for an epidural and to keep things as medicalised as possible. Some midwives are more medicalised than the medics!

Secondly: The midwife to woman ratio is anything but conducive to support and the building of a trusting midwife - mother relationship. Some days on the delivery suite I could be caring for up to three women.

Thirdly; the women themselves are ill informed, scared and have little faith in their ability to give birth. The issues are embedded deep in our culture. The NHS views women's services as being way down on their list of priorities and this is evident in how poorly resourced and under - funded this area is. Midwives are leaving and I don't blame them.

However, as I didn't get the jackpot on the euromillions this week then return I must. Some days I make a little bit of a difference to individual's or couples' birth experience and these are the days that I cherish. I drive home with a smile on my face and on these days I think "Aw, what a lovely job!". Sadly, as the unit becomes busier and busier these days are becoming fewer and fewer.

To top it all I have a rotten cold and DB is away all week. aaarrrggghhhh!! Large glass of red required me thinks!

Will let you know how it goes.

*Middle Class Tosser (see earlier post "Remember, Remember I'd Rather Forget for full description)